child, by definition, does not grow up with other children in
the immediate family, with whom s/he can compare, compete or
share. With no peer witness inside the family, s/he can remain
invisible to her/himself.
adult, the likelihood is you may still not have had the chance
to meet with others who grew up as an only child.
offer a new and unique opportunity to swap notes with those
most likely to understand - other onlies.
Child & the
Triangle of Jealousy
Jealousy is a powerful emotion that we
all experience from time-to-time, and in a few cases we
say that a person is consumed by it.
is frequently confused with envy, although they often
occur together. Simply put, I may envy what you have but I am jealous
when you give your attention to someone else. In jealousy
three people are involved, hence the triangle,
and only children can be easily caught in such a dynamic
and find it played out in situations beyond the family,
and in later life.
In this workshop we identify and examine the
effects of the primary triangle on us over the years and
how we currently interact professionally and socially.
Only Child | Separation & Loss
The significance of the relationship
with a parent or parents for the only child is particularly strong. The
loss of one or both through death is a huge experience for most
of us, irrespective of whether our relationship was harmonious
With the death of one, we may be challenged
to become a surrogate partner, with the death of the last or
only one, we are orphaned. We
can feel devastated, relieved, angry, sad, confused, lonely, or
all of these. Whatever our experiences, it will mean there
is no one left with whom to share our immediate family history
and, as we confront life alone, we face ourselves as individuals
in a new way, perhaps for the first time.
If you are an adult only
who has lost one or both parents, or are anticipating the loss
of them, this facilitated workshop is for you. It is a chance to
grieve, support and be supported by others in a similar situation. It
is an invitation to explore your future.
Child | Relationships
Do you long for a deep, intense, close relationship
with a partner and at the same time fear losing your independence?
Relationships. We want them. We don't want them.
We have them anyway. For the only child, the power dynamic between
a child and one parent or two is always intense and inevitably
unequal. With the absence of siblings to offer a more varied
and general experience of relating to others of the same generation,
the only child is at a disadvantage when it comes to creating
realistic expectations for adult relationships. Long distance
love, getting caught up in triangles and staying in bad relationships
for too long are all familiar stories as is unrequited longing
- that elusive partnership that doesn't happen.
In this workshop, we offer an
unusual opportunity to explore many of the things that happen
in relationship in the company of other onlies - it may feel
like a mini experience of having surrogate siblings.
In the safety
of a small group, we can tell our stories and see how it is
that we as onlies prefer to relate and where we feel challenged.
How do we deal with fidelity, intimacy and the need for space,
sharing and expression?
If you are interested in taking part in any
of these workshops in the future, please get in touch at firstname.lastname@example.org
Your workshop was such a
liberating experience! One of the best inspirations for me was your
emphasis on the strengths and survival skills the only child develops
- so many are inclined to dwell on the negative aspects.
'I just wanted to thank you
again for the workshop on relationships. It was a great
weekend and one I shall remember for a long time. I found
it very valuable and it was a revelation to be able to talk and
share about only issues.
In the last few weeks following the workshop, I have felt a greater level of
Strange, when we know what
is at the root of our pain we cannot erase it completely, but
we can take steps to learn how to live with it and move forward.'